From the very second I got into the car after the disastrous gender scan, I started Googling. There is no website or article about Cystic Hygroma’s, Hydrops and Turner Syndrome that I have not read! The most valued information, however, has come from personal blogs; people who have lived this situation before and have chosen to tell their story whether it be to provide encouragement to others with their positive outcomes or to retain the memory of their little ones who didn’t make it. Granted, there aren’t too many of these kinds of blogs around due to the rarity of these cases but I have valued the honesty of the couples who have chosen to share their story with the world and I wanted to add to the existing blogs and share our story with honesty too.
It’s quite normal for me to keep track of any challenges I’m facing through writing. Of course, choosing to be so open about subjects like this is a little scary – you leave yourself open to judgement. Some might question my intent. Am I sharing Hallie’s story for sympathy? Absolutely not. Sympathy and pity are the two overriding emotions that we simply cannot deal with at all – any pitying look, or message, or hug is 100% guaranteed to start the waterworks and send us into a spiral. Positive support and understanding of our situation is much easier to handle, which thankfully, everyone has aced so far!
Some might not understand our willingness to be so open with such a sensitive subject but we have never been the type to hide away and wallow in self-pity. We are proud of our daughter, and yes, her story can be seen as incredibly upsetting and difficult to talk about but these things are all part of nature. They happen to couples around the world every single day. This is not just our pain, we share it with so many others, and we’re so aware of that and want to honour it.
Since my miscarriage in October I found myself launched head-first into the underground world of pregnancy struggles and baby loss – somewhere I never imagined I would end up. I’ve met women from all around the world that I speak to every day who have suffered the same issues; couples who are as frustrated as we are that starting a family isn’t as easy as everyone else seems to make it look. I have learnt the stories of close friends and family members who have suffered losses too. I talk with women daily who, like me, are navigating pregnancy after loss. I have had friends open up to me about their fertility struggles, wonderful couples who have been trying for many years and getting no closer to the family they crave, and quite frankly, 100% deserve. I've even heard from couples who have successfully started their families but are struggling to cope, women for who being a Mum isn't coming naturally or they're finding it harder than they ever imagined. These are subjects that no one openly talks about. Each person's story is valid. I am not ashamed of our story. At all. Because here's the thing. Everybody struggles with something in their lives. Everyone’s journey is different and individual to them – this just happens to be ours.
When it comes to sad or dark or depressing issues whether its loss, illness, addiction, financial worries, whatever - no one is untouchable. As much as we love to portray a happy, perfect image of ourselves on social media or in social circles, it's rarely the reality. I believe that it's okay to let your guard down and be vulnerable and be human sometimes. There's a world of support out there, communities full of people following similar paths to you, if only you'd let them in. More often than not you find stories that bring you hope. Stories that spur you on and give you reasons to keep going. And knowing that you aren't facing your battles alone is everything.
With this in mind, we made the joint decision to announce our pregnancy on social media this weekend. So now our wider circle knows about Hallie, not just our closest friends and family. The messages of support ever since have blown us away! We’re so thankful to each and every person who took the time to acknowledge Hallie and offer to add her to their thoughts and prayers. It’s been a confirmation that we aren’t facing this alone, not that we ever thought that we were, but it’s been so great to have everyone rallying around us and our girl. Thank you, from the bottom of our super-full hearts.
No comments:
Post a Comment